Right to Names

Right to Names

Authors: Finn Ware; Ellen Williamson, DVM, DACVAA; Stiles Foster, CVT.
Editor and Review: Ewan Wolff, DVM, DACVIM
Review: Mia Cary, DVM

Importance

Historically, we have recognized the right of individuals to abbreviate their names, have nicknames at work, use their middle name or combinations of letters, and change their names when they marry. Additionally, we have given the right to assume names and hide original ones when people are faced with the threat of domestic or organized violence. This privilege has been claimed carte blanche by cis people under appropriate circumstances. To gender diverse people though this has been a significant struggle despite the fact that these names are essential to personhood, mental health, and safety. Not being called by your name devalues autonomy, gender identity and individuality. Habitually being ‘deadnamed’ is a form of violence in that it constantly picks away at sense of self to the point where self harm or suicide may appear the only way out.

Glossary

Deadname: A previous name that may be on a birth certificate or a legal name that is not the name that is in personal use for that individual.
Misnomer- Desired/Preferred/Chosen name: The most important takeaway is that a transgender, non-binary or gender nonconforming persons’ name is their name and not to be confused or conflated with the idea of a nickname.
Trans*: Previously used to define individuals who are transgender, broadened to be an umbrella term for gender diversity, however not all people identify as trans who are non binary or gender.

Legal Precedents

Due to the current shifting landscape please stay abreast of the latest information by engaging with organizations such as Transgender Law Center and independent journalists such as Erin Reed.

Potential Impacts of Harm

Using or even referencing a transgender, non-binary, or gender nonconforming persons’ deadname anywhere in the workplace is not only disrespectful, but it publicizes their gender diverse status. If “Jane” is a well-liked cisgender employee who has worked for the company for a long time it is human nature to assume that “Oh Jane would never do anything inappropriate, she is a really good person”. This is an example of implicit bias. The only person who has the right to decide if Jane is safe to confide in is the transgender, non-binary, or gender nonconforming person themself. Using their deadname on scheduling, manifests, or any publicly available documents exposes a transgender, non-binary, or gender nonconforming employee to discrimination, ridicule, or even physical harm.

Author narrative #1:

“One time I was in the treatment area with about 10 of my other coworkers, (Techs, VA’s, Vets). It was morning rounds where we would share updates on protocol and plan for the day. We were waiting for someone to join and making small talk. One of the vets turned to me and asked “So, what is your real name?” She knew that I was trans, as did a few of my other coworkers. The implication was that my birth name was my real name and my chosen name was some sort of nickname or fantasy name. The subtext was that I had a “real” gender and that I was just pretending to be a man. I was embarrassed and horrified to be confronted like this. Not only was her question invalidating, but it also outed me to all of my other co-workers, with whom I had intentionally chosen not to share my trans status.”

The process for changing one’s name and gender markers with the state and federal government is long and complicated and can take over a year in some places. Sometimes it isn’t possible to keep the other facets of one’s life constant during this time. One goal during this process is to avoid anyone from being forced to disclose their transgender, non-binary or gender nonconforming status.

Author narrative #2:

“I was applying for a job in the middle of the legal process of changing my name and gender marker. During the vetting process I had to disclose my deadname etc. to my employer so they could run their routine background check. For some reason my resulting employee profile listed both names (ie. John Smith aka Susan Smith). This opened me up to many uncomfortable conversations about being trans during my onboarding interview. At my first team meeting the supervisor who interviewed me introduced me to the crew saying ‘ok everyone, (John) is transgender so we all should be kind to him in that regard’. She saw herself as an ally and her intentions in this introduction (and during the interview) were nothing but kind. Perhaps this self regard kept her from seeing that she had outed me to my coworkers without my consent. The next few days included several uncomfortable conversations including one where a coworker declared how much she loved trans people but was so glad that I was “he/him” trans person and not one of those grammar-challenged “they” people. I was compelled to defend the use of singular “they” to her and a group of others who had gathered. She was an assistant supervisor and has treated me coldly ever since. I have been there for 2+ years and have never felt comfortable at that workplace and have been passed over for promotions a number of times. No amount of DEI training will keep some people from saying inappropriate things so it is important to let the transgender, non-binary, or gender nonconforming employee be the judge of who gets to know what and when.”

Sometimes what seems like a fun team meeting icebreaker can be problematic for a transgender, non-binary, or gender non conforming employee.

Author narrative #3:

“One time I was in a meeting at work with about 20 of my coworkers. The leader suggested a fun “game” where we all were to go around in a circle and tell the provenance of our name. It was supposed to be a get-to-know-you exercise like “I was named after my great aunt Mildred” or “I was named Janice because ‘take another piece of my heart” was my parents’ favorite song.” I, however, broke out in a cold sweat. Should I tell everyone that I had chosen my name upon transitioning? Or should I choose to live a lie at work and make up a story? Neither option sounded like the right one. A few people at the table knew I was trans so it would be weird if I lied, but then there were a couple people I definitely did not want to know this personal thing about me. I ended up excusing myself from the meeting saying I didn’t feel well (which was sort of true) to avoid the no-win situation with which I was faced. I still feel ashamed that I did not have the wherewithal to speak my truth, but at the same time I was really put on the spot and was not ready to do so in such a public manner. “

Individual Action

An individual should take it upon themself to learn and use their coworkers’ chosen names.
Individuals should be accepting of the fact that a person may change their name more than once as they explore their own identity and endeavor to use the person’s chosen name consistently.
Lead by example. If a transgender, non-binary, or gender non conforming person is openly using another name and you hear another person referring to them using their deadname, you should act to correct the other person, regardless of whether or not the transgender, non-binary, or gender non-conforming person is present.

Cisgender co-workers should take responsibility when deadnaming happens, and make a conscious effort to correct the behavior in the future. Taking responsibility involves briefly and genuinely apologizing, correcting yourself, and moving on. It is important not to harp on the issue as this can do more harm than good. Prolonging the conversation prolongs the harm. Excuses and saying “this is hard for me” etc. force the transgender, non binary, or gender non conforming person to console the offender and feel like a burden.

It’s easy to say “I’m working on it” and not do any work – avoid falling into that trap.
When a transgender, non-binary, or gender nonconforming person corrects you about deadnaming etc., take a step back and listen. Try to stifle any knee jerk reaction. Believe them when they take the energy to let you know you hurt their feelings.

Steps for Implementation

• Name badges, company email addresses, and schedules should have the employee’s chosen name even if it does not match their legal name.
• There should be a simple application process for changing employee’s name on IDs, emails, payroll etc.
• HR forms should have an option such as, “Do you want your legal name kept confidential?” If the answer to this question is yes, then the employee’s legal name should appear nowhere outside of their confidential file.
• Background checks with easy options for any former names (asking for “maiden name” is not sufficient).
• Not everyone may use a name that is societally typical for their gender. Supervisors are encouraged to remember that gender identity and gender expression are not one in the same thing.

Compliance Assessment

New employee onboarding should include topics relevant to transgender, non-binary, and gender non conforming employees along with the mandatory standard workplace harassment orientations.
The employee handbook should explicitly mention the recognition of chosen names and include:

• Steps to handle change of name.
• A guide of who to contact and what documents are needed to start the process.
• A clear outline of what is needed from the employee and what is done by the employer including a breakdown of what each step is and of what the approximate time frame is for each step to be complete
• Explicit denotation that use of incorrect/former names will not be tolerated.
• In the U.S. the minimum wage etc poster should include trans rights information and resources.

Steps for associates to follow if they are being deadnamed can be bundled with other forms of workplace harassment including a conflict resolution process, steps for enforcement, direct and indirect methods of confrontation (ie should not have to sit down with harasser if not comfortable doing so). Prompt, effective notification, and enforcement is also important. Ask yourself the question, “Are you treating mis-naming or misgendering as you would any other harassment”?

Resources

1. Let’s get it right: Using Correct Pronouns and Names. Anti Defamation League: https://www.adl.org/resources/tools-and-strategies/lets-get-it-right-using-correct-pronouns-and-names
2. GLAAD Media Reference: Transgender People: https://glaad.org/reference/transgender/
3. Vance, S.R. 2018. The importance of getting the name right for transgender and gender expansive youth. J. Adol. Health 63:4. https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X%2818%2930335-5/fulltext
4. Good Practices; Names and Pronouns. U Md. LGBTQ+ Center. https://lgbtq.umd.edu/good-practices-names-and-pronouns