Brought to you by PrideVMC Gold Partner, Veterinary Emergency Group

Written by Antonio Coleman (He/Him), Talent Manager, Veterinary Emergency Group

Photo: (Tiffany Gibson berix.com)

Coming fresh out of the holiday season I am still in a state of reflection of last year.  I have always enjoyed looking back at the moments, good and bad, that I can continue to learn from. A particular learning that I am still taking in, is that creating allyships is a must in the fight for diversity and inclusion.  It is a new experience for me, like many others in the black and LGBTQ+ communities I have struggled with finding allies.  Being open with anyone outside the intimate circle of my partner and close friends about my fears and experiences is scary, honestly.  

There were many conversations in 2021 I had with my family, friends, and co-workers about the lack of diversity and opportunity in our country.  The topic is still heavy, there’s a lot to learn.  At times it feels defeating, exhausting even.  But I am so thankful for the values I am learning from continuing the conversation. The strength and inspiration that came from each of these talks is very special, they helped me begin to open and heal. I know that diversity and inclusion is a large landscape with a lot of territory left to uncover.  These past few years have been some of the most challenging in my lifetime, from a worldwide pandemic to calls for social justice from coast to coast. 

For anyone who is struggling to open up and find allies in your life, I share the three lessons and tips learned from the bond built with my allies over the past year.  These lessons helped me embrace the support system they have become to me.

Listen without bias

I noticed when I didn’t feel judgment in these conversations, I spoke freely and felt like it was okay to continue exposing my truths.  Additionally, I realized that I felt safe engaging questions they naturally came up with. Because they haven’t walked in my shoes, it was important for me to engage their thoughts and questions. I seized those moments of curiosity. 

Tip: Allow the person to speak truthfully and as you listen, before responding think about the potential unconscious biases you may have.  We all have them but are usually completely unaware.  Unconscious biases are the social stereotypes we form about groups that come from our tendency to categorize social worlds in a way that we’re most familiar or comfortable with.  Being aware that you have certain biases will help to create the foundation and safe space that is critical to being an ally.

Educate yourself

Some of my friends and co-workers were unaware, saddened, and shocked by some of the things I shared in our conversations. I shared books and movies with them that helped provide insight into the additional struggles and challenges.  It’s hard to put into words the feelings of love and support I felt as they started sharing some of what they were learning with others in their own social groups.

Tip: Begin to research the topic and immerse yourself in the history of the struggle.  All marginalized groups have their own unique history that over time tells their story. Moreover, this shows that you value being an ally and want to learn more!  The learning opportunities are endless.  If you’re unsure where to begin, it’s okay – it may even be overwhelming at first.  By starting with listening and examining the unconscious biases within you, you’ve shown that you care.  It’s okay to ask for a little help.

Help educate others

As my group of allies began to understand the struggles me and others in my communities have gone through, they started to take on the struggles as their own and wanted to educate people within their own circles.  My voice was amplified through their commitment to becoming part of the world that I have silently lived in.  The people in their additional friendship groups and affiliations are learning to become allies and examining their own hearts.  These conversations are not always easy but the payoff is greater than the sacrifice of comfort.

Tip: One of the greatest benefits in being an ally is that in addition to your own learnings, you can in turn help others become aware of their own unconscious biases and privilege.  Speaking up in our own social groups will magnify the support and healing needed.  Be prepared to show patience and empathy, just as with your own journey on the path of enlightenment they will have to learn and explore their unconscious biases too!

 

 

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